Sticks and Stones...

We have all heard the old saying, sticks, and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me. I disagree!

I have had words hurt worse than many physical injuries, Words can cut deeper than any knife and leave wounds that heal, but turn into thick, heavy scars. Those words can knock you down, mentally and emotionally and if you hear them often enough, they can change who you are and what you think about yourself.

Those words can linger long after the person who said them is around. They become that self-doubt, niggling in the back of your mind. They bring up old wounds and hurts. They make you feel inadequate, unlovable, and unworthy of love. They can make you doubt your purpose and even existence. They can send you into the dark bowels of depression.

How can we recover when someone's words cut like a knife? It always helps when the offender apologizes, but many times in life, that does not happen. These are some ways that I have found helpful. ❤️

• Feel it! Cry, be upset, and let it out. It is ok to hurt and express those hurt feelings in a constructive manner.

• Ask yourself - Is it true? If you know it is not, just remember YOU cannot control their words, but YOU can control YOUR thoughts. It is difficult, but not impossible to actually turn their negative words into positive thoughts.

• Ignore, ignore, ignore. If at all possible, ignore the mean words and move on. Never let someone else define WHO you ARE, especially with lies.

• Talk with someone you trust. This is my favorite. People that love and care about you can remind you of who you really are, no matter what anyone says.

• Tell that person they hurt you. Confrontation is difficult for me, but when I have done it, it always turns out positively. The person may have been reacting to a hurt you initiated, may have been having a bad day, or may have been reflecting their own issues on you. People can't read minds (well most can't!) and may not even realize they hurt or upset you. It's best to express your feelings openly and honestly.

Words can hurt. And the hurt can linger for a long time. If you do hurt someone with your words, apologize. A sincere apology can go a long way. Once they are said, they cannot be taken back, so choose your words with care!