Forgiveness

Merriam-Webster defines forgiveness as the act of forgiving. Forgiving is defined as, "to cease to feel resentment against (an offender). Heavy, right? I have been thinking a lot about forgiveness and what it means to me. I like to think I am quick to forgive, even when someone doesn't deserve it. I have had many people comment on this to me. Why? How? I realized, by holding on to anger and resentment, I was only hurting myself. The person I was angry with wasn't bothered by my anger at all. It was only eating at me.

And wow, was I full of anger, hurt, and resentment. I would wake up in a bad mood every single day. I was drinking too much, yelling at my kids too much, and was so unhappy with myself. I hated looking in the mirror. It didn't happen overnight but once I decided to forgive those I was angry with (without ever receiving an apology), my life changed drastically. I started seeing the good instead of the bad. I let go of the anger and tried to empathize and understand.

Choosing to forgive and let go of that anger, was the first step. Did I still feel those negative emotions towards the person/situation? Yes, I sure did. Forgiving does not mean not feeling. You have to feel and process the emotions in order to get through them. Burying or ignoring them only makes it worse. Eventually, it will come to the surface. I used reiki, yoga, meditation, crystals, and oils to give me tools to cope with negative feelings. I felt all my traumas so that I could finally let them go. I feel freer, I feel light.

And the hardest part of it all is forgiving yourself. But, it is so worth it! I am happier than I have ever been in my life and forgiveness is what has propelled me down this path. Most days I wake up with a smile on my face and love in my heart. I am grateful for the hard times for making me the person I am today. Why not forgive someone or yourself today? Love and light.